I was saying vows

I was saying vows ,
was promising faith.
blushed every time
when I heard swear words.

I am still not matured,
my mind is not ripe
but so exhausted
to feel tightly tied.

am I kind?
am I gentle?
my heart always bleeds...
salty tears in my throat
make me believe...

there is no other road
than straigtly to hell
if I don't turn this page
and start all anew.