My heart beats like a crazy drum...

My heart beats like a crazy drum,
head does not understand the reality.
I 've lost consciousness what is going on
all the thoughts - is he in love or it's a simple vanity....

Cognac helps just for an hour or less,
then I start crying and begging God for mercy.

I behave so silly , though my maturity has riped.

Am I really stubborn or is it a trait of mentality?